“OKAY SO THERE WAS ANGST FOR THE FIRST HALF OF THE EPISODE. LUCREZIAS MARRIAGE. ALFONSO BLAH. OKAY. AND THEN LLUCREZIA WAS ALL ‘I LOVE YOU’ (THAT WAS IN SUBTEXT) ‘I NEED YOU’ (THAT WAS LESS IS SUBTEXT) AND ASKED HIM IF HE’D BE THERE FOR HER. BOOM. KISS. MY OVARES ARE GONE AT THIS POINT. HOTTEST KISS I HAVE EVER SEEN. I AM DEAD. THEY KISS FOR A BIT (SHE MOANS, SHE FUCKING MOANS) BUT THEN HE REALISES WHAT HE’S DOING AND PULLS AWAY. GETS AWKS ABOUT IT. ‘FORGIVE ME’ IS WHAT HE SAYS AND THEN HE LEAVES THE ROOM. MORE ANGST. HE REFUSES TO DANCE WITH HER AT THE WEDDING. LUCREZIA ATTEMPTS TO BE HAPPY WITH HER NEW HUSBAND. FAIL. ALFONSO SLEEP ALONE. WE SEE LUCREZIA SNEAK INTO A ROOM. DON’T KNOW WHOSE IT IS. MAYBE ALFONSOS? SHE REACHES UP AND PULLS BACK THE COVERS TO REVEAL A PERFECTLY PROPORTIONED NAKED MAN. NOT ALFONSO. I REPEAT. NOT ALFONSO. CESARE WAKES UP AND IS ALL ‘WHOA WHAT IN GODS NAME?’ AND THEN LUCREZIAS JUST LIKE, ‘THEY ALL SAY WE’RE BANGING ANYWAY, WE SHOULD TOTALLY BANG.’ CESARES LIKE’ WHAT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND’ LUCREZIAS LIKE ‘YOU WILL BE MY HUSBAND TONIGHT’ (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) AND THEN THEY BANG. BEAUTIFUL MUSIC BEAUTIFUL SCORE, LOTS OF NAKEDNESS. DEATH TAKE ME NOW. LIFE IS FUCKING GOOD.” — 

me explaining The Borgias Ep. 3 to a friend. 

accurate, right? 

(via afinalconcertinmunich)